{"id":48732,"date":"2016-08-18T00:52:54","date_gmt":"2016-08-18T00:52:54","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.mixedracestudies.org\/?p=48732"},"modified":"2016-08-18T00:52:54","modified_gmt":"2016-08-18T00:52:54","slug":"i-struggle-with-a-permanent-guilt-for-the-way-my-appearance-allows-me-to-move-through-the-world-so-much-more-easily-than-my-family-members-and-i-am-grateful-for-the-constant-reminder","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mixedracestudies.org\/wp\/?p=48732","title":{"rendered":"I struggle with a permanent guilt for the way my appearance allows me to move through the world so much more easily than my family members, and I am grateful for the constant reminder."},"content":{"rendered":"<blockquote><p>Despite the fact that both <a href=\"https:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Rachel_Dolezal\" target=\"_blank\">Rachel [Dolezal]<\/a> and <a href=\"http:\/\/www.vanessabeecroft.com\/\" target=\"_blank\">Vanessa [Beecroft]<\/a> seem to have found their \u201ctrue\u201d identities, I am still searching for where \u201cmulticultural\u201d fits within the landscape that is race in America. When I was younger, I had moments of weakness where I allowed racist, ignorant, hurtful behavior to occur around me without repercussion. Speaking out, would mean having to explain myself, and then be questioned and teased for \u201cnot really being\u201d who I say I am. I struggle with a permanent guilt for the way my appearance allows me to move through the world so much more easily than my family members, and I am grateful for the constant reminder. As much as I am connected to and proud of my Black and Brazilian heritage, an intense awareness of how I am perceived by everyone around me is part of who I am. It has taken 29 years to get here with far more work to be done. And when these white women proclaim themselves to be spiritually Black, it feels like they\u2019re pouring multiple varieties of artisanal salt (available at the aforementioned, gentrified storefronts) on the wound.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>Natasha Diaz, \u201c<a href=\"http:\/\/www.mixedracestudies.org\/?p=48723\" target=\"_blank\">White People, Stop Saying You\u2019re \u2018Black On The Inside\u2019<\/a>,\u201d <em>The Establishment<\/em>, August 15, 2016. <a href=\"http:\/\/www.theestablishment.co\/2016\/08\/15\/white-people-stop-saying-youre-black-on-the-inside\/\" target=\"_blank\">http:\/\/www.theestablishment.co\/2016\/08\/15\/white-people-stop-saying-youre-black-on-the-inside\/<\/a>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Despite the fact that both Rachel [Dolezal] and Vanessa [Beecroft] seem to have found their \u201ctrue\u201d identities, I am still searching for where \u201cmulticultural\u201d fits within the landscape that is race in America. When I was younger, I had moments of weakness where I allowed racist, ignorant, hurtful behavior to occur around me without repercussion. [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[24792,20241,22055,24793],"class_list":["post-48732","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-excerpts","tag-natasha-diaz","tag-rachel-dolezal","tag-the-establishment","tag-vanessa-beecroft"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/mixedracestudies.org\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/48732","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/mixedracestudies.org\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/mixedracestudies.org\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mixedracestudies.org\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mixedracestudies.org\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=48732"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/mixedracestudies.org\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/48732\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":48733,"href":"https:\/\/mixedracestudies.org\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/48732\/revisions\/48733"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/mixedracestudies.org\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=48732"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mixedracestudies.org\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=48732"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mixedracestudies.org\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=48732"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}