{"id":57061,"date":"2018-11-21T18:38:59","date_gmt":"2018-11-21T18:38:59","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.mixedracestudies.org\/?p=57061"},"modified":"2018-11-21T18:38:59","modified_gmt":"2018-11-21T18:38:59","slug":"helping-my-fair-skinned-son-embrace-his-blackness","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mixedracestudies.org\/wp\/?p=57061","title":{"rendered":"Helping My Fair-Skinned Son Embrace His Blackness"},"content":{"rendered":"

Helping My Fair-Skinned Son Embrace His Blackness<\/strong><\/em><\/a><\/p>\n

The Atlantic<\/a>
\n2018-11-21<\/p>\n

Myra Jones-Taylor<\/strong><\/a>, Chief Policy Officer
\nZero to Three, Washington, D.C.<\/em><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>
\nAshley Seil Smith<\/small><\/p>\n

He identifies as African American, but it\u2019s a constant struggle to get his peers and teachers to see him that way.<\/em><\/p>\n

I recently confessed to my son that I would have to miss back-to-school night for a work trip. Most parents can expect one of two reactions from their children to this news: relief or a guilt trip. My son\u2019s response was of the second variety, but with a particular twist. \u201cYou can\u2019t miss back-to-school night!,\u201d he said. \u201cHow else will my new teachers know I\u2019m black?\u201d<\/p>\n

For me and my husband, back-to-school night is not only about establishing what kind of parents we will be for the coming school year\u2014it is also about establishing our son\u2019s racial identity and sense of belonging.<\/p>\n

I am a black woman married to a white man. Our 13-year-old son looks white\u2014blonde-haired, blue-eyed, straight-nosed, thin-lipped, fair-skinned white\u2014but he identifies as black. Our daughter is much lighter than I am, and is often mistaken for Middle Eastern or Latina, but I cannot help but see traces of my paternal grandmother\u2019s high cheek bones and wide nose in her round face.<\/p>\n

Some queer people talk about the existence of \u201cgaydar<\/a>\u201d\u2014the ability to identify one of their own, whether they are out or closeted. As the child of a white mother and black father, I have whatever the equivalent is for being able to spot black people no matter how fair their skin or European their features. I could always claim my people, I thought. But when our son was born, I realized that no special power was going to help me see his African heritage. My husband thought our newborn was albino<\/a> the first time he cradled him in his arms. He was that white…<\/p>\n

Read the entire article here<\/a>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

He identifies as African American, but it\u2019s a constant struggle to get his peers and teachers to see him that way.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[24,414,125,8,20],"tags":[29098,6001],"class_list":["post-57061","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-arts","category-family","category-identitydevelopment","category-media-archive","category-usa","tag-myra-jones-taylor","tag-the-atlantic"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/mixedracestudies.org\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/57061","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/mixedracestudies.org\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/mixedracestudies.org\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mixedracestudies.org\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mixedracestudies.org\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=57061"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/mixedracestudies.org\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/57061\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":57062,"href":"https:\/\/mixedracestudies.org\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/57061\/revisions\/57062"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/mixedracestudies.org\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=57061"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mixedracestudies.org\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=57061"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mixedracestudies.org\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=57061"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}